VS

I love her ... sane or insane

all the while I hate her all the same

for her I would give my life

even though she's the antagonist who causes me strife

I don't remember life before she joined my memory

though I'm sure she could forget me easily

I try my best not to cause her pain

and she tries her best to be like a drill going into the brain

....

Sacrifices

I vow to give my family everything I have,
Until I have nothing left,
I vow to ensure not only our present,
but our futures wont be riddled with debt,

I promise to not eat until they've been fed
I promise to leave them only wealth when I'm dead

And though they may never understand it while im alive
To keep them from sacrificing, I will strive.

You & I

As I explore every nook & cranny of your mind
I take the time that you fail to realize
Is valueable to study the gaze of your eyes
The window to your soul, the place that binds
Us together in a knot ... Oh so tight
A strong steady bond that I can't fight
Or break or even try to untie
As I give up I carefully begin to examine why
Heaven gave you away or why there's a blue sky
Instead of red, the color of your heart, the place where I lie
The home of your feelings which cause you to feel pain and cry
In a way I don't want to see because I'd rather die
Than to see you hurt it causes my soul & heart to sigh
Which makes me dedicate my whole life to try
To give your being peace, the whole world I would buy
If I could but I can't so it's no surprise
That I'll just hold you and protect you in these arms of mine
Always and forever, 'til the end, together, You & I


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

My Chance (Just Because ... )

My love is torn, My heart is mangled
I'm trapped in the walls of a relationship triangle
On one side my heart belongs to one who's love is another
But this one won't let me go, I have to stay and be the brother
On another side my love has finally seen the light of day
But why must this one I love be so far away
Yet there's another side which love will never see
Because on this side a friend is all I'll ever be
Turn this way and that, these boundaries will never fall
Cause there's no stonger containment than being trapped in love's walls

Copyright Joseph F. Carr II© 2009

Love's Walls

My love is torn, My heart is mangled
I'm trapped in the walls of a relationship triangle
On one side my heart belongs to one who's love is another
But this one won't let me go, I have to stay and be the brother
On another side my love has finally seen the light of day
But why must this one I love be so far away
Yet there's another side which love will never see
Because on this side a friend is all I'll ever be
Turn this way and that, these boundaries will never fall
Cause there's no stonger containment than being trapped in love's walls


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

Realize: Part III (Loss)

I realized eventually that our love you could not see
I realized and now I know but I still won't let you go
It took me years and now I fear
I'll just lose your loe right here
It's no surprise, look into my eyes
Love should make you realize
I realize ... That true love will never lie
I realize ... That true love will never die
No it won't lie, No it will never die
It will be here for all time
And you will see, that our LOVE it was truly meant to be.


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

Realize: Part II (Discovery)

I realize from dusk to dawn that i've finally found the one
I realize from dawn to day that the heavens have found a way
To give me a love that is my own
And I hope time will condone
The feelings of love that we both share
love will always be right there
I realize ... That true love will never lie
I realize ... That true love will never die
No it won't lie, No it will never die
It will be here for all time
And you will see, that our LOVE it was truly meant to be.


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

Realize: Part I (Enlightenment)

I realize that I'm alone when I go to sleep at night
I realize that when I awake, there's no love companion by my side
No time to waste, no way to escape
i know i have to meet this girl someday
She will be here with me and you will surely see
That it was truly meant to be
I realize ... That true love will never lie
I realize ... That true love will never die
No it won't lie, No it will never die
It will be here for all time
And you will see, that our LOVE it was truly meant to be.


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

My Unborn Child

Conceived out of love or maybe even lust
My heart still fills to the brim ready to bust
Inside of her body carried with care
My future, my love, the one she will bare
Boy or girl? What's a unique name?
My life became hard so yours won't be the same
I will be your provider and your protector
Your life is guided between me and the hands of the creator
When she feels you kickiing we never feel lonely
You may be my first but hopefully not my only
You will be strong and smart that's for sure
I'll always have your back because my love for you is so pure
To you this I pledge with the brightes smile
I give you all my love my unborn child


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

Can't You See!

I don't know and I don't understand
Why you can't see what everyone can
They can see me and you together forever
and they think that I'm your man
Only God can make a love like this
So this is a chance that I won't miss
We don't know what this can be
So let's give it a try and we'll see
\Can't you see
I think about you girl being my lady
Every single minute in my life
That's why one day I'll ask you to be my wife
If you ask me, I can see
You being the girl that I call my lady
Every single minute in my life
I know you'll be my wife
That's why I have to keep you in my life so you can realize


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

I Come Through

I`m writing this letter to let you know how I feel,
Expressing my love for you will always be real,
I want to know if you will be my lover,
Because if there`s you there can be no other,
I'm asking right now "Do you really love me?"
Because that is the way I've always wanted it to be,
Through all seasons: Summer, Winter, Spring & Fall
I'll still love you if I lose them all,
Now that some feelings have been expressed,
I`ll let you know why other girls are impressed,
By your beauty which is unmatched,
And you personality attracts,
I come through everyday,
and you know I will do things your way,
I love you
I come through and I`m showing my love,
from here up to the heavens above,
Do you love me too?


Copyright Joseph F. Carr II © 2009

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry I'm not the man you want me to be,
I'm sorry I'm not the man in your fantasy,
But I wanna know, why you can't see me for what I am?
And I have to say, that I would've done anything to be your man

I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be
I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I'm not in your fantasy
I'm sorry ... and I apologize
For not being everything in your eyes ... I'm sorry

I'm sorry if either one of us ever felt misery,
I'm sorry you made the mistake to be with him and not me,
Though we may, act like we are best of friends, yes we do,
I have to say that this can't be I'm still in love with you

I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be
I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I'm not in your fantasy
I'm sorry ... and I apologize
For not being everything in your eyes ... I'm sorry

I'm sorry that love was never conceived in your heart
I'm sorry that we're so close yet we're so far apart
Didn't mama say, "Never let a good thing ever slip away"
But regardless of that fact, there's just one thing left to say

I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be
I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I'm not in your fantasy
I'm sorry ... and I apologize
For not being everything in your eyes ... I'm sorry


Copyright ©2006 J. F. Carr II

The Chosen Shall Ascend

Parents lay out a few choice rules that are met to guide us to a prosperous life. They are usually remnants of mistakes our parents mad or mistakes they saw being made by people they knew. We as their children usually can tell which rules are made in our best interest. Why is it then that a lot of us decide to do the complete opposite of these rules? Why do some children NOT follow these rules and then dare to be upset with our parents because our life has now become hard?!

1) No one told you to NOT obey the rules met to guide you

2) No where is it a rule that says that your parent has to take responsibility for your mistakes

3) Mistakes are nothing to be proud of

In conclusion, the road less traveled and usually the easier & more prosperous road is the road of the rule follower. They are usually named the golden child, the favorite or the chosen one by their siblings. But since they followed the rules ... in their life ...

THE CHOSEN SHALL ASCEND

Mythology Of A Mad Man - Episode 3 (Idle Thoughts)

I actually believe I have some super power based on manipulation and persuasion. Thing is I'm also a firm believer that people don't do things that they don't want to do on SOME level. Based on this belief maybe my power isn't in manipulation or persuasion ... maybe it's based in discovering what certain people desire on a conscious or even subconscious level. Once I discover this, then I'm able to say what needs to be said for that person to get past whatever blocks that desire whether it be morals, inhibitions or otherwise. I tap into these 'idle thoughts' and make them active. To the successes - you're welcome, and to the failures - get past your fear ... I'll help.

Random Thoughts 01/17/2010

I think I should be a rapper ...

Whatever happened to my singing group ...

I wonder what my legacy would be if I didnt walk the path of Psi ...

I want a 4 wheeler ...

Boyz II Men should let me fill in for Michael ...

I think I was supposed to right poetry tonight ...

These new sluts and whores give us ol/reformed sluts and whores a bad name ...

Do NOT think you are more than what you are ...

I call myself Legend because some people consider me Legendary, why are you called ...

What should the wife and i do next, Ya'mean? ...

I wonder how much of myself will be in 3 ...

I apologize to mothers and fathers who have daughters that my son will meet ...

that is all for now ...

Separation Anxiety

If I could separate from myself and be another version of myself, what would I do?
Would I be jealous of the life I have now and want to stay?
Would I continue the path I was on in college?
Would I reinvent myself?
Would I go after the second place girl?
Would I stop someone else's choices?
Would I go far from here?
Or Would I stay as close as possible?
Who would be happy that there's more of me around?
Who would be upset?
If I could separate from myself, would I or would i not?